Just the facts, Ma'am

by Peter Merchlewitz

I can't tell if it's John E. McIntyre wonderfully droll speaking voice or just his knack for blogging about odd-ball journalism topics, but every Wednesday, I always like take a peek at his blog, whether it works for the BNR class or not. But this week, I just have to comment on this weeks submission.

Apparently, in his blog, McIntyre talks about his police reporter colleague, Peter Hermann, and how cops use their own language when talking to news reporters. Here are a few examples taken from McIntyre's blog:

Exited the premises: “Left the house.” Houses and apartments are always premises. And people, as if they were following stage directions, always exit.

Altercation: “Quarrel” or “fight.” Once someone gets shot or stabbed, the "altercation" has "escalated." Afterward, the “perpetrator” exits the premises.

Ejected from the vehicle: Think “thrown from the car.” It’s always a “vehicle,” not a “car,” even if the officer knows full well that it is a Ford Crown Victoria the size of your parents’ first house.

Discharged his weapon: “Fired his gun.”

The unit block of X Street: Never just “the first block.”

Failed to negotiate a curve: “Ran off the road.”

But the part I love the most about this most recent blog is McIntyre's reference to the old cop drama "Dragnet". Suffice to say, I feel like one of the fortunate one who've actually listened to, not watched!, to this old show. For you see, my grandmother was cleaning out her attic while she was getting ready to move into a smaller house when I stumbled across a collection of old time radio shows containing shows from "Gunsmoke" to "Amos and Andy", "Inner Sanctum Mysteries" and of course "Dragnet", old 1950s cigarette commercials and all.

For you see, listening to these tapes inspired me to pursue a career in voice acting, and thus changing my major from Vocal Performance to Corporate Communications. It's also a little dream of mine before to graduate to start a radio show here at Simpson where my friends and I would act out these old radio shows using old radio transcripts found on the Internet, like "Guy Noir: Private Eye" from Garrison Keillor's NPR show "Prairie Home Companion".